Commencer la révolution!

I need a new rap moniker.

Sun, 16 Dec 2012 02:56:37 -0500

Suggestions?

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Mon, 26 Nov 2012 17:25:52 -0500

“When I was informed that I had been name People’s Magazine’s...

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 21:07:37 -0500

“When I was informed that I had been name People’s Magazine’s Sexiest Man of the Year—Mustache Edition, I steeled my jaw and slowly exhaled through my flared nostrils into the very lip-thicket that had gotten me into this mess in the first place.” -Nick Offerman

“This news pleased me little. I crushed the iPhone in my hand into dust, this despite the hardy White Oak case I had painstakingly carved for it. Why can no one see what a nightmare these whiskers make of my life? Soon after I learned of this “honor,” my doorbell rang. Mr. Tom Selleck had sent over an enormous congratulatory yak, smoking a cigar. Impressive, Tom, but misguided. Sam Eliott sent me a text that read, “I reckon you et the bar this time, pard,” whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. And Burt Reynolds sent me a Corvette with the words, ”All you, Baby!” painted on the trunk. You son a of bitch. Pardon me, as I count to 10…8.9.10. All right. Look. I can’t begin to describe my frustration at receiving accolades for this facial bane. My mustache! You think it’s a good time, seeing a woman countenance my visage and swoon, only to fall beneath the crushing wheels of a Sunset Strip Hummer? Wrong. When I’m standing in line at the bank, and it’s held up by six men with clown masks and AK-47s, do you think it’s a fun chuckle when everyone turns expectantly to me, assuming somehow that my insanely lush mustache will kickass all of us to safety? It’s not a chuckle, People, not by a long shot. Those dead clowns are most certainly not chuckling. When a press junket for Parks and Recreation took me overseas to Valhalla, this royal Norsemen, Odin, said he wanted to reward me for the power of my facial bear. Okay, fine. He handed me some crappy, little sledgehammer and said, “Wield it justly.” His kid Thor (of course his name was Thor) comes over and starts crying at my feet, mewling something over and over that sounded like “mjolnir, my mjolnir…” I picked him up and lightly bludgeoned him with the hammer and he completely lost it. Full-on tantrum. It was a tiny, little tap, seriously, he was being a total baby. Odin said, “My son fills me with shame. I have only ever wanted him to display facial hairs half as magnificent as those upon your mouth, but, alas, he remains practically clean-shaven. Why, he’s no more man than Hawkeye,” whom I’m assuming is a Norwegian musician, like ABBA? It was mighty awkward is what it was. They certainly do things differently in Europe. Anyway. My point is, simply, that I appreciate the gesture, but this mustache does not strike me as “sexy” in anyway. It strikes me as a pain in my hairy ass. Where’s my trophy for that? And finally, Tom Selleck, I thank you for the yak. It is robust, and I will consume it.”

Not even a fan of the Big Boss Man but this picture is too dope...

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 19:13:03 -0500

Not even a fan of the Big Boss Man but this picture is too dope to pass.

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Tue, 06 Nov 2012 15:18:19 -0500

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Tue, 06 Nov 2012 14:55:06 -0500

ostracizedpoodle: the bible doesn’t say i have to go to school The bible says that you have to...

Sat, 03 Nov 2012 13:53:12 -0400

ostracizedpoodle:

the bible doesn’t say i have to go to school

The bible says that you have to listen to the government in place, so actually it kind of does because the government says go to school.

mierdecitas: “It’s not unusual to be loved by anyone…”

Thu, 01 Nov 2012 17:08:29 -0400

mierdecitas:

“It’s not unusual to be loved by anyone…”

alexistheawesomesauce: I JUST CANT OMFG

Fri, 19 Oct 2012 13:40:43 -0400

alexistheawesomesauce:

I JUST CANT OMFG

hot3s: Frank Sinatra

Sun, 14 Oct 2012 23:05:29 -0400

hot3s:

Frank Sinatra

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Thu, 11 Oct 2012 13:22:01 -0400

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Sat, 06 Oct 2012 17:19:53 -0400

In the end credits, the Coffee Shop Manager is credited as just...

Wed, 26 Sep 2012 19:42:14 -0400

In the end credits, the Coffee Shop Manager is credited as just Coffee Shop. Quentin Tarantino said this was because when Tim Roth puts the gun to his head and says “Are you gonna be a hero?”, the manager only says “I’m just a Coffee Shop-” before Tim Roth cuts him off and starts yelling again.

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Wed, 19 Sep 2012 20:25:38 -0400

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Wed, 19 Sep 2012 20:24:55 -0400

jonnywanser: ~!!! NEW SONG WITH T SWIFT AND MACHINE...

Tue, 03 Jul 2012 18:54:44 -0400

jonnywanser:

~!!! NEW SONG WITH T SWIFT AND MACHINE GUNZ!!!~

[gucci mane vs taylor swift vs black magic vs sufjan stevens] #dumb young girls who fantasize relationships to be something they arent

by Jonny Wanser off of #hashtag mixtape 2: death to false tumblr wave.jpg (2012)

DOWNLOAD FOR FREE

http://www.mediafire.com/?dm9f342pm66dlkf

http://jonnywanser.bandcamp.com

http://jonnywanser.tumblr.com

philiplumbang: sophiniesom: Beauty and the Beat “There must...

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 16:36:27 -0400

philiplumbang:

sophiniesom:

Beauty and the Beat

“There must be something more than this hoodrat liiiiife!”

HAHAHAHAH!! Everything about this is perfect, especially her voice.

holy crap this is awesome. beauty and the weave! ha!

9gag: Think about it

Tue, 26 Jun 2012 16:28:10 -0400

9gag:

Think about it

outofreception: Malibu, CA

Sun, 24 Jun 2012 04:39:22 -0400

outofreception:

Malibu, CA

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Sun, 24 Jun 2012 04:16:06 -0400